Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
