SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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