angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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