I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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