she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
