Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
