READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
