Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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