lets start a swedish sibling band together
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
