A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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