i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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