so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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