Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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