Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
