time to smoke my breakfast
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
