Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
