My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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