"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
