After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
