The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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