fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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