Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
