If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
