This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
