As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
