I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
