Only a mothe r could love this liver
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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