I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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