Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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