omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
