i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i now understand why vodka
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
