Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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