if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
are you so shy because you have an std?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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