So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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