Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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