She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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