Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
