I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Congratulations! We have a period
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