shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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