It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
