I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i think i just lost a toe
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
