ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
