it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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