We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
