she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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