That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
