I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
