what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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