I love black thongs
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Randomize
