$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
