No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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