Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
