I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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