The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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