I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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