you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
