the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Soap is not a condiment
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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