I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So much Jack, so little girl.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
