Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
